UUers (again)

I went to a few UU meetings to find out what it was all about and I, sometimes, still look at their web site to see what’s going on. Today’s topic is “Am I a Christian Atheist”.

I wouldn’t even know where to start. But I will anyway.

I look at the faces. All white. No Muslims. No blacks. Just a bunch of white Christians, some of who pretend to be Atheists as some sort of rebellion or something. I’m reminded of the Trump rally mentality. Think about it.

Problems In Physics


The true sciences are physics and chemistry. (Physics explains all of chemistry.) Physics has many problems that go back to early in the 20th century. This is about physics problems physicists don’t/won’t talk about and usually refuse to admit as problems.

Quantum Field Theory. This is the theory that drives all of physics except General Relativity (gravity). So what is a field? Standard answer: “You have to know a lot of graduate-level mathematics and even then …” Interpretation: no one has a clue. But it all sounds good. Sort of like asking about consciousness.

Size of an electron. This gets complicated fast.

Answer #1: “For the Electron, the mass and charge is known – that’s all. Electrons exist as point charges with no size.”

Answer #2: “Electrons in quantum mechanics have a wavefunction, as do all quantum objects. This describes the probability distribution of the electron: how likely you are to find it in a particular place with a particular momentum and spin and so on. Critically, quantum mechanics means that the wavefunction isn’t just a description of our lack of knowledge: nothing in the Universe “knows” where the electron is “inside” the wavefunction before one looks for it.” And so on …

Answer #3: “The electron size can be described in three different ways: 1) how its size compares to the proton radius; 2) how its size collates to its classical radius; and 3) how its size relates to the hydrogen atom’s ground radius.

1) 2.103 x 10^-16m or proton radius) / 137.036 = 1.5346 x 10^-18m or size of electron.

2) 2.8179 x 10^-15m or electron classical radius) / 1836.152 = 1.5346 x 10^-18m or size of electron.

3) 2 x (1.321 x 10^-15m or proton Compton wavelength) x (5.2917 x 10^-11m or H-atom ground radius) / 9.1103 x 10^-8m or wavelength of photon with -13.6 eV of energy that is related to the H-atom’s ground state) = 1.5346 x 10^-18m or size of electron.”

Give up?

Electron-positron high energy colliders. Electron and positrons are point particles. Everyone says so. So how do you collide a point with a point? There are an infinite number of points between two points so no matter how narrow you make a beam of point particles there are still an infinite number of paths. So what is the probability of two paths out of an infinite number coming together? Even with the electron having a wave function in two directions, it is still two out of infinity. Think about it.

Synchrotron Radiation. Synchrotron radiation (also known as magnetobremsstrahlung radiation) is the electromagnetic radiation emitted when charged particles are accelerated radially, e.g., when they are subject to an acceleration perpendicular to their velocity (a ⊥ v). This is why the LHC is underground and no one is in the tunnel when it runs. There is no fully understood theory for this radiation.

Hawking Radiation. Stephen Hawking was a highly regarded theoretical physicist but nothing he ever produced was ever proven. He was famous for traveling with an entourage.

The Twin Paradox.

Double Slit Experiment.

Programming With CSS

I spent my entire career working with computers and programming languages. Few people have used as many programming languages. I don’t miss it. It’s extremely stressful. There is that screen saver program written in C++ I still play with when I’m feeling creative. But now … I got out the CSS books and used CSS to customize my smugmug photography site. I’ll tire of the whole thing in a day or two. But stephendmccloud.photography now looks closer to what I want it to look like.


I’m about to do what I should have done several years ago: break all my ties to the Exotic Feline Rescue Center. The only people I trusted there are now gone and most of the people at EFRC just make things difficult.

EFRC does not have a functioning board of directors. EFRC does not have a five-year plan or any other plan. EFRC is developing a web site that violates every basic principle of web design. EFRC has a director who has no respect for any other human. And most importantly, EFRC has no money in the bank. The director spends money as fast as it comes in.

I see no hope that things will change. When the director dies or goes to a nursing home, EFRC will still be without a functioning board and the plan will still be: “Lets’s See What Happens Tomorrow”.

Indiana University Press did publish three books of my photographs. That made it somewhat worth the trouble. But 30-degree weather, mud, ignorance, and obnoxious Tigers are not something I will miss.

Everything That Went Wrong Yesterday

The blog entry title was once the title for the blog. Didn’t seem right. However …

People send out Xmas cards letting us know all the fun things they did last year, mostly stuff they dumped money on. The neighbors sent me one. A brother of Caryl sent one to her. I want to make one about everything that went wrong this past year, not just me but everything I care about. But mostly about me. I may do it next year. I’ll have to start keeping track. Might not fit on a card, more like a book. Or maybe I’ll just keep this blog entry constantly updated. Everything in one place to show how things evolve. And extract some stuff for a card? Obviously, I haven’t thought about this enough.

So here are some possible categories. In no particular order.

Caryl. Too personal. Caryl would be forced to write a rebuttal. Not gonna happen. Rejected as a category.

Exotic Feline Rescue Center. Now we’re talkin’. I have complaints. This place costs me money.

Health. My favorite topic to avoid. I’m 72. Lots of possible entries. Suicide is one of my favorite topics I never speak about. It might be fun to start talking.

High School Photography. Definitely a category. Yes, things go wrong. But I learn so much about people and cameras.

Mother. Probably not. I don’t even know if she’s still alive. There’s a long blog entry you can find that relates to her. Have fun reading. She no longer affects me. I didn’t think that would ever happen. A small miracle.

Science. Oh god yes. Mostly high energy physics and related fields. Lots of entries.

Religion. Or maybe Superstition. Not something I tolerate easily. Many entries.

Politics. I voted for Obama twice. That was a big mistake. Rejected as a category, maybe.

Probably more categories. This will be updated as things happen. It should be soon.


Wiki HERE. Took me a lifetime to find this was what was wrong with me. I wonder if it explains my dreams without images. Someone needs to study this. There’s never been a connection between aphantasia and my kind of dreaming, or even a description of my dreaming without images. Is there a name for this?

Years ago I was asked by a counseling psy PhD student if I dreamed in color or black and white. Huh? That was my first clue I was missing something.

Speech Bubble Apple

Chronic Pain

Note on the author: This letter was originally written by Ricky Buchanan and is posted here. The letter was first written to let people know what it is like to have chronic fatigue syndrome or fibromyalgia and has been adapted for other chronic pain disorders.

Having CFS means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike AIDS and Cancer, most people do not understand even a little about CFS and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed. In the spirit of informing those who wish to understand …

… These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me…

Please understand that being sick doesn’t mean I’m not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day flat on my back in bed and I might not seem like great company, but I’m still me stuck inside this body. I still worry about school and work and my family and friends, and most of the time I’d still like to hear you talk about yours too.

Please understand the difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you’ve got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I can’t be miserable all the time, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if you’re talking to me and I sound happy, it means I’m happy. That’s all. I may be tired. I may be in pain. I may be sicker that ever. Please, don’t say, “Oh, you’re sounding better!”. I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you’re welcome.

Please understand that being able to stand up for five minutes, doesn’t necessarily mean that I can stand up for ten minutes, or an hour. It’s quite likely that doing that five minutes has exhausted my resources and I’ll need to recover – imagine an athlete after a race. They couldn’t repeat that feat right away either. With a lot of diseases you’re either paralyzed or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing.

Please repeat the above paragraph substituting, “sitting up”, “walking”, “thinking”, “being sociable” and so on … it applies to everything. That’s what a fatigue-based illness does to you.

Please understand that chronic illnesses are variable. It’s quite possible (for me, it’s common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I’ll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don’t attack me when I’m ill by saying, “But you did it before!”. If you want me to do something, ask if I can and I’ll tell you. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute, if this happens please don’t take it personally.

Please understand that “getting out and doing things” does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. CFS may cause secondary depression (wouldn’t you get depressed if you were stuck in bed for years on end!?) but it is not caused by depression. Telling me that I need some fresh air and exercise is not appreciated and not correct – if I could do it, I would.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that I do have to do it right now – it can’t be put off or forgotten just because I’m doing something. CFS does not forgive.

Please understand that I can’t spend all of my energy trying to get well. With a short-term illness like the flu, you can afford to put life on hold for a week or two while you get well. But part of having a chronic illness is coming to the realization that you have to spend some energy on having a life now. This doesn’t mean I’m not trying to get better. It doesn’t mean I’ve given up. It’s just how life is when you’re dealing with a chronic illness.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don’t. It’s not because I don’t appreciate the thought, and it’s not because I don’t want to get well. It’s because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped, all people with CFS then we’d know about it. This is not a drug-company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with CFS, if something worked we would KNOW.

If after reading that, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, preferably in writing, but don’t expect me to rush out and try it. If I haven’t had it suggested before, I’ll take what you said and discuss it with my doctor. He’s open to new suggestions and is a great guy, and he takes what I say seriously.

Please understand that getting better from an illness like this can be very slow. People with CFS have so many systems in their bodies out of equilibrium, and functioning wrongly, that it may take a long time to sort everything out.

I depend on you – people who are not sick – for many things.

But most importantly, I need you to understand me.